Follow My Vox And Lock Us Up Sans Your Socks On
by blowersgate
Summary: Spoiler for season 6 only Broken though , Rated M for language so far . This fic will answer the question of 'Who does Cuddy want House to be'
1. Fumbling For Mr Normal

**Author's note: **I'm back with a new story! I hope you're going to enjoy it because I'm definitely enjoying writing it. It might take me some time to update fast but I'll do my best. And if you like where this is going, **please review!** I'll even try to procrastinate and write this story. Basically, I need you guys to tell me you love me and my story, well, at least my story, hehe. ;)

**Rated M for language so far. **But also because our favourite couple is made to be hot and bothered the moment they're in hot water. Well, they always are in hot...water...

**For those not familiar with my "work", **I love puns, subtext and weird syntactic patterns. Therefore, it's not always easy to read, but I hope it won't prevent you from enjoying the story. It might need some heavy thinking on your part at times though. But I can't help it, it's the way I write and I couldn't do it any other way.

**Spoilers** for the begining of season 6 but it won't follow what's happening on the show, so technically, it's an AU.

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**Follow My Vox And Lock Us Up Sans Your Socks On.**

_Chapter 1: Fumbling For Mr. __Normal._

"One, two, three, for, fire upon a tire was a horrid hospital administrator in a frantic urge to drive her sweet employee to madness." House told his boss who had stormed in his office, almost breaking the glass door in the process.

"House better rhymes with Hamlet because I am pretty sure this way I would do you a favor in sending you back to Mayfield." Cuddy shouted with reason as she approached him dangerously.

"Cool! Will you be my Ophelia? We could be roomies!" House expressed calmly.

"You really want my death, don't you?" Cuddy sighed with exasperation.

"Actually, I haven't read the play in a while so…"

"House, enough!"

Her sharp tone made what she considered a pseudo argument cease for the time being.

"Come on! You're not mad. Besides, I have just distracted you with my offer to be the love of my crazy self." House broke the silence. The man was still very much adamant.

"Have you noticed the tone in my voice?"

"Yes, you've just toned it down." He said matter-of-factly, "However I prefer the shouting administrative tone from ten seconds ago. Way more passionate. I love it when you're kicking and screaming…"

"I haven't kicked you yet." She softly said, eyebrow arched for fear her stern face would yield before his subtle smirk.

"Where, boss?" He grinned.

"You know where." She regretted saying for the sexual comment would be next.

"It would be too hard for you, lady. Don't get me wrong, it'll hurt but it definitely won't back down that easily." He replied, appearing serious.

It was all in vain thought Cuddy. "Can we please stop talking about your stupid muscle for a second?"

"Hey, don't call it stupid! He's a smart fellow!"

"It is stupid for thinking it can get inside of me!" She fought over the matter, only one time too many. From the look House had given her, this discussion was either over or he was playing her. House looking hurt is a sight she has trouble witnessing. "House, I'm…" Her forgiving self tried to take over.

"No it's okay, Cuddy. It got the message loud and clear." He expressed, his body language, even his eyes now seemed deprived of whatever emotions he still had a minute ago.

"'There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies. That's for thoughts.' Cuddy quoted Shakespeare's Ophelia, her previous words tugging at her like the plague. She would always fold at that fragile side of him.

"See, I knew you couldn't be mean to me for more than five seconds." He said, his attractive smile showing up at once. That damn smile was making Cuddy have some trouble thinking clear.

"I just don't want you to think..." She practically stammered.

"What, Cuddy?" He pushed, feeling empowered all the sudden.

"That you don't mean anything to me." She admitted, trying to appear confident.

Only she didn't appear that way to him. Her conflict was just as visible as his, except she was in a delicate situation. This was now the perfect time to deflect for the millionth time with that jerkiness he has always remained so proud of. Everything he would say, he would in the hope of feeling better.

"The difference between you and me Cuddy is that I have nothing to lose in this confrontation. You are a hot piece of ass, good for you. But to most men, that's all you are. Go enjoy your life." He remarked, harshly. He wondered what he was feeling better about.

Cuddy thought about it for a second and as she tilted her back, she asked "Are you one of those 'most' men?"

She had him and the question made him feel better. Not because he could admit that he considered himself as a different kind of man but because she had seen through his subtle comment.

"The fact that you consider yourself as such shows how little respect you have for yourself." He grinned, thinking the usual banter would resurface.

"This is why you and I can't work. You can't act normal for once in your life." She let out, frustration evident in her voice.

He hadn't seen that coming. The seriousness of her tone bringing him back to one of the things he dreaded the most in his life: the definition of their relationship.

"And yet, you take part and reciprocate my act." He remarked. His eyes suddenly focused on her very unstable ones.

"I want normalcy, House. " She stated with an unconscious shrug.

House rose up from his chair and went around his desk. He had had enough of this smart ass talk about what Dr. Cuddy wants. He angrily limped towards her. "What you want is to get out of my office because if you don't, you've got everything you believe in to lose." Damn that woman, he thought. Would she ever give a damn about what he wants?

House stood only a few inches away from her. "Don't ever kiss me again, House."

"Don't tempt me again, Cuddy. " He shook his head no so subtly she thought he would dare close the distance once more that day.

"Go home. Think about your life and come back tomorrow just as miserable. " She changed the subject in an attempt to rationalize everything, "But try to not make me miserable just because you are. Tomorrow, I want you to be a good boy and work for real." She administrated with a patronizing tone, never once hoping it would work on him.

"You know I can't do that." He furrowed his brows almost playfully.

"But your next paycheck needs you to. How are you going to pay for your hookers?" She asked, definitely mocking him.

"They're all in love with my genius. I get free health care." He countered.

"If only your miserable self could act like a normal human being, so that I could thrive on that fact and just be happy..." She gave up, exacerbated by their non-extant communication.

"Sure and, let's see who's miserable after that." He mumbled under his breath. She paid no attention to whatever he was saying.

"-without you being a fucking constant pain in my ass. And maybe, just maybe, you would realize you could be just as good a doctor as you have always been, minus the irascibility." She continued, her trail of thoughts finally coming to an end. She took the long breath she had no idea her body and brain needed.

He examined her, his head tilted to the left. This simple movement shook her off in a wrong way and not really knowing why –except maybe for the fact that she felt she had made her point, she turned around and left his office.

Head tilt can help one appear to be either more trustworthy or more attractive. In House's case, the attractive side isn't something that should be taken lightly. And House knew she hadn't.

"Once upon a time, Lisa Cuddy had wished upon a new kind of mess." House said to himself, breaking with his trance.

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_(ps. Chapter 2 should be up within the next few hours.) So, you guys can start speculating. By the way, I so can't wait for monday!! _


	2. Thou hast gone mad in fact!

**Chapter 2 for your reading pleasure!**

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_Chapter 2: Thou hast gone mad in fact!_

It all started at the nurse's station. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital is well known for the eccentricities of the internationally renowned diagnostician Dr. Gregory House. People dread the obnoxious man's sometimes true but, most of the time, unpleasant remarks. The Dean of Medicine, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, however, seems to remain unfazed. Rumor has it that the two have history. In fact, the nurses have been speculating for practically a decade. They thought they had seen it all. Their usual banter reminded those extremely professional nurses of the erotic novel they could have read to make their exhausting shifts go by faster. Though, that day, the two protagonists climaxed for their viewing pleasure. Only, much to their analytic dismay, House and Cuddy can't be read like an open book.

"Natalie, have you seen Dr. House?" Cuddy asked the young nurse.

"No but he's definitely at the hospital. He's probably hiding, as usual." Natalie answered.

"He just got his license back; he was supposed to do his clinic duty today."

"Do I get bonus points if I act like I care if he does his hours or not?"

"No but at least you won't get fired." Cuddy furrowed her brows at the obnoxious nurse.

"Lisa!" A good looking man in his forties called after her. "Hey." He added tenderly.

"Gary. Hi! What are you doing here?" She asked, surprised to see him here.

"I just got out of the office. So, I thought I'd come by and surprise you." He said

"Mark, you didn't have to-" She tried.

"I'm happy to. I like the idea of spending some time with you at the hospital." He remarked.

"This isn't really a place to hang out." She retorted.

"I know but I thought it would help, I know how stressed you are these days with the fundraising coming up and since last night wasn't really what I had in mind-" He tried to explain.

"I'm so sorry about last night." She said, ill-at-ease.

"Let's not dwell on that. I'm sorry for even bringing that up. Why don't you just show me around?"

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have to look for an employee of mine who knows nothing other than act like a five year old." Cuddy added, feeling bitter upon her reaction.

"This shouldn't take you too long, I can wait." He shrugged.

"Really, you don't know him. And, after that I might not be in the mood for our date, I'm sorry." She didn't like how firm she seemed.

"Well, that employee must be quite a pain for you to say that." He sighed, "It's okay; my lonely self and I will wait thinking about you and about tomorrow night." He winked at her.

"Yes, I think it's best. Thank you…for everything." She looked at him expectantly, although feeling her confidence a little undermined.

"No problem." He smiled; unaware of what was going through the Dean's mind.

He kissed her on the cheek and left.

Cuddy's loving smile disappeared as soon as she turned to face her employees. "See I don't understand him."

"Which says a lot about the 'liking' part", mumbled one of the nurses.

"Why? He seems really sweet." Dr. Cameron asked, coming up from behind.

"Do I really need to take part in this conversation?" A computer savvy Natalie grumbled.

"No!" Cuddy and Cameron shouted simultaneously. Natalie was a great nurse but she was so cranky she could overthrow House in the very confined realm of Princeton Plainsboro.

"Last night we were quite going at it and today he kisses me on the cheek, we've been dating for more than a week and that's all I get for almost sleeping with him last night?" Cuddy explained, her voice getting lower with each passing word.

"I thought you weren't into public displays of affection?" Cameron added, matching her boss's tone.

"He is technically my boyfriend so I don't see why he shouldn't at least try to take advantage of that fact, mark his territory, especially where I work-" Cuddy kept going.

"Hold on for a second." Cameron cut her off. "Why didn't you sleep with him last night?"

"Because Mr. I-am-too-much-of-a-gentleman-to-fondle-in-public- can't kiss her like that." House's voice broke the pseudo openly public conversation that was going on. The man with a limp had rushed to Cuddy, grabbed her arm to make her turn around and in a swift move, had bent down to kiss her. A taken by surprise Cuddy, as well as his lips fully pressed against hers, had given House quite the ability to control the duration of the kiss. Cuddy hadn't reciprocated the kiss -not that it was surprising. She was after all not as conscious of what was happening as he was. "Good night, Sunshine." House said softly as his mouth parted from hers, his nose touching her cheek lightly.

It took Cuddy probably five seconds to realize what had just happened before the rush of emotions transformed into a different kind of rush. The urge to keep a sense of dignity was expressed in the form of a strong slap in the diagnostician's face.

"Ouch!" Natalie practically cried for House. A dumbfounded Cameron, as well as the rest of the staff in the hall turned to the nurse in question before directing their whole attention back on the scene before them.

House had seen it coming and felt his cheek burn. The hurt forced him to apply pressure on the now red mark. "Well, I'll see you later, I forgot my backpack upstairs." He expressed, trying to regain some sort of composure, "There's no need to come by and kiss me back." He then smirked before he limped away from her.

Cuddy, whose frown hadn't quite left her face yet, turned back to Cameron –and, subsequently, pretty much, her entire staff, "Go back to work, all of you." She commanded, "And I… am going to fire someone." She started to walk in the direction of the elevators, raging, aggravated for reasons that had nothing to do with shame. And that is what rendered her even more furious.

"I can't believe he actually did that." One of the nurses whispered to another.

Chase made a stealth appearance in the Clinic, obviously looking for Cameron. He came to hug her from behind and said, "What's with all the whispering and dumbfounded looks?"

"House just kissed Cuddy." Cameron told him, enjoying the comforting embrace of her husband.

"What?" Chase asked, intrigued.

"I know! It really just came out of nowhere. And she slapped him hard to say the least." Cameron explained, laughing quietly.

"I bet she's in shock." Chase said, "Someone's going to get fired." He said letting go of his beloved wife.

"What a way to end a shift!" Cameron expressed, "Do you have any surgery tonight?" she asked, turning her attention back to Chase.

"No but I got to do something first, I'll meet you outside in a minute." He grinned.

Chase turned to Natalie and the nurses encircling her and said, "So how much on House still being around by tomorrow?"

"The bet starts at a $100, Dr. Chase." Natalie answered, eyes focused on her computer.

"Great!" Chase winked at Cameron. She couldn't help but roll her eyes in response.

--- House's trip back home went by pleasantly. For once it was undisturbed as his thinking process matched the beating of his heart. November nights weren't supposed to feel this warm but then again, he probably was the only one in New Jersey to feel that way. Within an hour, he had managed to kiss Cuddy, piss Cuddy off and to figure out the best plan ever. He had to muster up all that was him to not kiss her again when they were in his office. It was cunning to observe Cuddy with the current man of her life. Thanks to Wilson's inability to keep his mouth shut, he had finally, after three months, learned something interesting about Cuddy. Albeit she had only started dating him about a week ago, which still gave House some semblance of a head start. His aim had always been to mess with her. He didn't mind that there was no defined goal attached to this plan. In a way, he just needed to be the center of her attention. House went to sleep a happy man that night because he knew he could only be right about her.

--- The next morning, Lisa Cuddy came to work, coffee in hand and a little later than usual; the look on her face giving away the definition of a long night of soul searching. She knew she would be confronted to House again today. She just didn't want to keep thinking about it.

"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy." Tracey, her new assistant welcomed her.

"Good morning, Tracey. Any messages?" She asked.

"Yes!" The woman said, "Mr. Murphy from the MD- Fundraiser Committee regarding today's reunion. Gary Jackson called to confirm he's really taking you to a fancy restaurant tonight." The younger woman couldn't help but smile at her own words.

As much as Cuddy had found her assistant's giggles cute, she couldn't help but give her that I'm-your-boss-remember trade mark look, "Is that all?"

"No, Dr. House called."

"Ugh, what does he want?" Cuddy asked, already unnerved.

"He wanted to know if you had any cases for him." The woman finished.

"Thank you." Cuddy said as she opened the door to her office.

Lisa Cuddy had in fact no cases for her star diagnostician. What intrigued her though was that he had called her assistant early that morning. She decided she would call him right away and coerce him into getting his ass to the hospital.

She dialed his number and 'definitely not' as expected, after two ringtones, the answering machine was on: _"Gregory House. Please leave a message." _ She didn't remember him having a non-stupid (but kind of funny in her opinion) message.

Cuddy had no time to leave a message as her assistant stormed into her office, "A man… holding a scalpel… in the clinic…he has Nurse Natalie, he wants to talk with the boss…-"The frightened woman tried to explain the situation.

Cuddy rose up from her chair immediately.

Upon arriving at the nurse's station, she saw a security guard move patients to a safer room, "Have you called the police?"

"Yes, Dr. Cuddy." The man said, "He's in there with Nurse Natalie. Maxwell is trying to bring that man back to his senses."

"Okay." Cuddy said, trying to remain as calm as possible.

"Be careful out there, the police should be here soon anyway." He said and Cuddy nodded.

She entered the clinic; many people were still in the room, gathered in front of the man holding a knife to the nurse's throat.

"You're just a security guard! I'm not stupid; I can see it, man!" The attacker told Maxwell.

"You don't want to hurt her and the Dean isn't around." Cuddy heard Maxwell say. She was sure it was for her own safety. However, she was ready to intervene and make her presence known at any moment.

"Yes, he is." Cuddy heard the familiar voice come from the other side of the clinic. The tall figure revealed himself to the crowd, slowly making his way out of Exam Room 4.

"I'm Dr. Gregory House, Dean of Medicine. What can I do for you? Mister…" House asked, calmly. Cuddy eyed her diagnostician all the way to the top; he was wearing what appeared to be brogues, Bostonian brogues, black pants and a white shirt. All ironed. Adding to that his rolled up sleeves and a loose black tie certainly screamed the classic wanted effect on most women in the room: 'in my pants now.' A silent open-mouthed Cuddy had now settled her look on his face. The House in front of her had trimmed his longer-than-three-days stubble. To Lisa Cuddy, this was for a fact, just as much of her concern as the situation that was about to take place.

She didn't know what to do. She couldn't risk Natalie getting hurt over her stubbornness. House must have had a reason to claim to be her.

"Let him do whatever he wants to do, Cuddy." She heard Wilson say as he put a friendly hand on her shoulder. She hadn't even realized he was here too.

"Davis." The man answered House.

"Good. Good." House said. The niceness in her tone taking everyone aback, "What can I do for you, Mr. Davis?"

"I want that bitch to apologize to me. See, she has like zero inner senses and yesterday, I waited three hours here and no doctor came. I come back this morning and she just tells me to remain patient." The man was visibly shaking. He probably had a fever. "I said to her, I said 'I'm in pain and tired' and she said… Well honey, why don't you tell your boss what you've said." He explained, his unstable arm bringing the sharp edge of the knife closer and closer to Natalie's jugular.

The crying nurse had no other choice but to repeat what she had told the man, "Do I… get extra points if I act like I care…"

"See, that's probably House's fault. He just has to hate patients!" Cuddy whispered to Wilson, giving him a knowing look.

Wilson simply sighed at her comment.

"Okay, I see." House told the man, "I'm sorry, this is my fault. I should have been doing my work in the clinic yesterday and I wasn't. It is short-staffed and I wasn't myself, I was brash and abusive and I couldn't be bothered doing it."

"You could have been my doctor, then?" The man asked, definitely pissed at the man in front of him.

"Do you believe in God, Davis?" House asked as he saw the man's cross.

"What the hell is that sweet theological talk?" Wilson whispered, bewildered by his friend's attitude.

"I have no idea." Cuddy answered, her head shaking no uncontrollably.

"What does it have to do with anything, man?" The man let out.

"Because there are days when you just hate the entire world and blame your miserable life on people instead of God." House paused, "I'm not saying you're miserable, I'm saying yesterday I was."

"Yeah, so?" Davis asked. House had taken this opportunity to move closer to Davis and Natalie.

"I need you to forgive me for I wasn't your doctor yesterday." House simply said.

"He looks so serious…" Cuddy expressed, amazed by his act.

"If I do, will you give me a consult now?" Davis asked, his knife getting baby inches away from the nurse's neck.

"Yes." House nodded.

"I forgive you, boss. But you need to fire that fucking nurse 'cause she can't act like that around patients." Davis explained.

"She won't even get her two weeks notice." House remarked, "Now, let's go inside my exam room, okay?"

"That Davis doesn't look too convinced." Wilson said.

"He's just completely insane." Cuddy stated.

"Mr. Davis, let go of Natalie and let's get you fixed up." House extended his arm toward the man –and tilted his head to the right.

Davis eventually let go of his hold on Natalie and threw her into House's arms. The man put his knife back into his pocket and entered the exam room.

The guards took no time to follow the man inside the room and arrest him. The people whom had been holding their breath the whole time had regained the ability to speak. The topic would certainly be the man's stupidity.

"I hear sirens. I guess we won't need the police after all." Wilson said as his face met Cuddy's small figure, "About time 911." He tried to joke but as he got no response from Cuddy, he decided to look back at House.

Why talk when you're presented with a mesmerizing sight. If things can really go in slow motion through a human's eyes, Wilson was persuaded Cuddy was experiencing it. He looked back at Cuddy and heard her soft voice, "About time."

He knew what her object of curiosity would be but then he also knew she wouldn't bulge until he would come to her first.

In a comforting embrace, Natalie was holding on for dear life. His head facing the ground, he was letting her cry her eyes out. His grip on her seemed strong but gentle.

House was just doing what anyone but he would do. As he started passing his hand through the nurse's hair, kind eyes met sparkling grey ones across the hall.

Cuddy gasped.

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**Don't forget to review! **


	3. When all we wanted was the dream

**Author's note:** Sorry for taking so long to update but I had a lot on my hands uni-wise. I hope you like that chapter. Don't worry, I know where I'm going with this story and maybe it does seem complicated to get but I can assure you House won't be OOC. Cuddy might be but then again, she's not used to this particular House. He's just being a different man in order to achieve something. Except he can't seem to be able to mark the boundary of that something.

** Don't forget to review** because as much as I love my ego, I can't thrive on contemplating my fucked up writing. I need some external love!

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_Chapter 3: When all we wanted was the dream._

Once Natalie had calmed down, House had to let her go. The police had questions for her and his turn would come sooner rather than later. But as much as he hated this true newfound character, he couldn't wait to speak to Cuddy. He would gauge her reaction and find out if this little game was worth continuing. With the patient, he had doubted himself a minute there. Whatever the outcome, he would think that acting like the ass that he is would have made the pressure a whole lot easier to deal with. For a moment he saw his reflection in one of the glass doors. He made sure to make no movement as he didn't want to let the people who were still at the "crime" scene know that he was thinking about more than what had just happened. And by people, he meant Cuddy and Wilson. And by "more than what had just happened", he meant that he was acting differently. He preferred people to think he had a complete change of heart, or a disease rather than letting them know he was faking. There was definitely something interesting about this new character though; his appearance. House never thought of himself as a _hot_ man. But he could tell that this look made him look more appealing to the masses. Even, dare he think, more than just handsome? He probably would have thought about many other things that were irritating but his favorite target put him out of his reverie, "House?" she spoke.

"Hey." He said, with a frail smile that threw her off, "Are you okay?" he added, putting a hand on her upper-arm, which threw her even more than just off.

Cuddy looked at him with a frown, on the verge of losing her balance from his action; she wouldn't forbid herself from calling him on his shit, "What the hell happened out there?"

"I-"He tried, looking concerned.

"Why pretend to be me? And risk a nurse's life in the process!" she paused, angry now, "You are House, you know how easy it is for you to screw things up in a heartbeat-"

"I didn't want you to get hurt. Have you seen how crazy that guy was?" House said, adamantly. He firmly believed in that but that didn't prevent him from acting as attentive as possible.

"Even when you have good intentions, which you do have sometimes…" she paused, what he just said finally hitting her, "You did it for me?"

"And for Natalie." House said.

"You know her name?" She asked, flabbergasted.

"Yes." He smiled a breath away at her.

"Why aren't you deflecting?"

"With all due respect, you are really starting to get on my nerves with all your questions." House said, a little annoyed but then again, he had been waiting for those questions all morning, "Can't you just simply say thank you House? Shake my hand, give me a hug, whatever-"

She cut him off, "Why would I do that, House?"

"Because if it had been anyone else… you would be buying them lunch by now." He said, locking eyes with her. Something he had been doing quite intensely for the past two minutes.

"Let me tell you something, House. That knew personality of yours? It won't last because I will push you to your limits until you spill all your repressed comments and when I do, I'll probably go curl up in a ball and cry for hours. But at least, you'll be back to your old arrogant and destructive self. "She let out with a little to no breath.

House sighed and before he could say anything, he watched Cuddy turn around a moment. She seemed to be looking at the nurses, he hadn't realized, were watching. He could hear them whispering what he and Cuddy knew were likely gossip.

"They should ask me to do the nasty with you while they're at it." Cuddy tried to joke or do it on purpose just to annoy House, whichever would work as far as she was concerned.

"Well, I can't say I wouldn't love to. God knows I wanted a relationship with you over twenty years ago. I'm pretty sure I still do now." He smiled at her.

"You're kidding me, right?" Cuddy asked, knowing better.

"Ask yourself why I never called a woman like you the morning after. And yes, I was going to call you."

Cuddy said nothing, he looked pretty damn serious and his words echoed to her mind like drums to a song.

"What do you mean?" She asked, doubting her own approach of the conversation.

"It means I would ask you out to dinner before even thinking about sleeping with you and its consequences."

"I'm seeing someone." She let out, probably on an impulse.

"I know. I kissed you yesterday, remember?" He said. He seemed completely unfazed by the act but not for the reasons behind it.

"And then we argued, remember?" She wouldn't let him get off the hook that easily.

"You are deflecting." He smiled, "Cuddy." He said, moving closer to her, "Now that I have asked you out openly. I would just want an answer."

"That's a big no for you." She didn't hesitate.

"Okay." Cuddy couldn't tell if he felt the slightest bit of hurt or if he wanted to question her reasons. She was getting to something. On a personal level, she could always solve the mystery that he was, fake personality or not. She took quite a bit of pride in that fact.

"Were you doing your clinic hours?" She asked, remembering he was in the Clinic when the small hostage crisis happened.

"Yes. I have a couple more hours to do but if you have a case for me, I don't know if you remember, I've left you a message-"He tried to explain.

"Yes…no, House." She said, "I don't have anything for you yet." She paused, "Why are you acting this way, is it about something I did? Is your leg hurting?" She seemed a little more concerned now.

"No, I'm fine, Cuddy." He said, "Really." That tender smile he used would have meant everything poetic in the world except to Lisa Cuddy. For the first time in many years, she had missed the scarce unexpected hurt his face might show anytime she would make a troubling comment.

Her sudden sigh had proven she was giving up, "Go watch your soap or something, House."

"The police will be asking for me in a minute." He paused, "I have a couple of hours of Clinic to do and then I have to go back to writing my review on Diagnostics." House said.

She had had enough of this game, "Do whatever the hell you want to do House, and just stop messing with me." She then turned to leave.

His eyes followed her legs moving, one in front of the other and the sway of her hips a mesmerizing sight no other woman could match in his opinion, until she reached her office.

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House entered one of the clinic rooms in the hopes whatever patient in there would make him forget about the stupid police officer he had just spoken to, the incident, Cuddy and her hips. Instead of a casual patient he saw Natalie.

"What are you doing here?" House asked; very much surprised to see her there.

She looked at him with bloodshot eyes, "I'm sorry; I needed a place where I could be alone for a minute." She paused, looking at her hands, "Thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome." He said, nodding.

"I know it must have been hard for you to act nice and just…well, unlike you." She uttered.

"What makes you think I could have acted any other way?"

"Come on, I know you. I've seen you with patients, even psychopaths. You don't care."

"What if I told you I care more than you think?"

"I know you do." She licked her lips slightly, "Whatever game you're playing on her, it won't work."

"What game? And on whom?" House asked but not without taking notice of her lips and consequently her throat. She had been crying for sure but that wouldn't explain her jerky breathing.

"Dr. Cuddy of course." She tried to smile at him, "Tell me, Dr. House. Where has the scruffy look gone? Where is the legendary sarcasm that makes all the women who are attracted to you end up avoiding you like the plague? Because, we all know you're an ass really."

"Since when have all the women been attracted to me?" He looked definitely unsure of himself.

"You're a very attractive man, Dr. House." She smirked," The limp is quite sexy." She added, putting her hand to her throat.

"If a man's burden is sexy now, I get why being sexy is a burden for some." Could her actions be redirected to symptoms? Nothing fit though, it didn't make any sense.

"Listen, I have to go but-"She couldn't end her sentence as she had collapsed on the floor.

"Natalie!" House unintentionally called after her. House lost no time to check her pulse. He then picked her up and took her in his arms. He had no time to call a code and so carried her out of the exam room and to the nurse's station.

About ten people –female nurses and female doctors mostly, were watching the hero of the day with dreamy eyes. If this had been a cheesy chick flick, most of them might have passed out from the handsomeness of the diagnostician in the hopes of being the ones needing CPR.

Cuddy, who was about to get out of her office, saw him carry the woman. The urgency of the situation only hit her after she was done salivating over his impressive shape. Being boss and a heterosexual woman had its disadvantages sometimes. The control freak was desperately trying to take over her brain again but the slow motion passing through her eyes was indeed quite intoxicating. She would never get used to that day.

"Cuddy!" He called out as he put Natalie down on the first available gurney he saw, "I need your help, here." He shouted, firmly.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked until she realized it was Natalie House had carried to the gurney.

"She's not breathing." One of the nurses said.

"I noticed a swelling. I need your help to do an emergency airway puncture." House said, focused on Natalie. He was feeling her throat.

"Okay but I don't see why-"She tried. She had no idea why House would need her help to do an incision.

"I need you to do the incision, Cuddy!" He said, angry. "We don't have much time; just trust me."

One of the nurses handled Cuddy a scalpel. House put two fingers on the side of the median cricothyroid ligament. Definitely not where to cut in case of an emergency airway puncture. Cuddy tried to push his fingers away in order to feel where she would cut herself but he held her hand holding the scalpel.

"But House, this is her oblique line, her cricothyroid muscle at worse." Cuddy could help but yell.

"Trust me Cuddy, I'm stopping you from making a mistake, you will hit the right spot."

"Create a 1, 5 cm vertical incision through the skin and the cricothyroid membrane."

"It's not where the membrane is!" She kept going, thinking he had gone mad for real this time.

"Not everything is supposed to be where it is." He said in one breath, his eyes locking with hers, "Now, 1, 5 cm."

"Are you insane? It's 1 cm-" She tried, shouting.

"No, it's not where it's supposed to be. Just do it, damn it. Place the scalpel between my fingers and stop at 1, 5. No more, no less." He looked at her, "You won't screw up." He tried comforting her.

This was the most insane thing he had asked her to do in terms of emergency procedures and the simple fact that he was counting on her to do it meant that he trusted her. At this point it was all she needed to do it. Except she didn't. Chase had come up from behind and took the scalpel that was in her hand. He made the incision between House's fingers. A clean one to say the least and within seconds a tube had been inserted into the woman's throat.

"I want to know how her throat is ASAP. Do an MRI, PET scan, whatever you want as long as I know what's in there and how disorganized it is." House quickly said to Chase, who nodded.

Cuddy stayed there watching House scrutinize the oblique position the tube was inserted in. He was right. From the beginning.

A small breath was heard from the woman's tube before they provided an O2 ventilation bag. Chase and couple of nurses started rolling her in the direction of the elevators.

House turned back to a stunned Cuddy.

"Cuddy-"House tried.

"No, House. Not now." She said before she turned around. On the verge of leaving, Cuddy felt a strong pressure on her upper arm. House had caught her arm and started to lead her into the exam room he had been in prior to the second dreadful event of the day.

Cuddy didn't protest nor did she remain passive to what was happening. As soon has House had brought her where he wanted her to be, he closed the door behind them.

"What the hell happened there?" House was about to break his newfound gentleness. "I've never seen you backed down like this before!"

"I didn't back down, I was going to do it and then Chase…" She tried.

"You could have trusted me sooner!" He added, unnerved.

"I wanted to House, it's just…"

"It's just what, Cuddy?" He said, closing in on her.

"I don't know how to react to this. To that stupid you. To this thing you're playing on me. You've acted like a fucking human being all day; everyone has been looking at you with new eyes. I don't know what I can or cannot trust about you. I'm so used to the shit you always come up with that I don't know if today was like any other day."

"You said you wanted to push me to my limits. Well, there you just did, Cuddy. I am angry." He said loud enough for his words to bounce off the walls of the room. "Your thought process almost killed Natalie."

"For crying out loud, House. You don't call people, patients by their names!" Cuddy expressed.

"Are you out of your mind? Is this the only thing you can think of right now?" He paused, "That I'm playing someone you wish I could have been all these years? The damaged man turned gentleman thanks to the women in his life? And in particular by you?"

"Don't be so damn full of yourself, House."

"Cameron tried. So don't you tell me you haven't wished the exact same thing." He said, "You don't like what you're seeing? Fine. But don't you ever do that again. You're a doctor prior to an administrator, think and act like one. "

Cuddy didn't really know what to say and the only thing that moved the closest to her heart was the feeling of being deprived of her own power. "I'm sorry." She uttered.

"I've changed, Cuddy. If I could, so can you." He said, looking down.

"Why do you want me to change?" Cuddy asked, not getting any grasp at where this was going.

House suddenly put his hand around the left side of her neck, his thumb moving up and down her jaw line and cheek. The tenderness in his touch put her entire being on stand by. He moved her closer against his chest. He moved his face in front of hers and slightly moved it to gain better access to her right ear. As he put his mouth against it, he said, "Because this is the only way you'll come to terms with the fact that it's me you want."

He remained in that position for a few more seconds before he could almost feel her shiver under his touch and words. Cuddy was about to say something when a knock came on the door.

"Yes?" House said before she could, his hand leaving her neck. Their closeness matching nothing but the cold way back to real life.

A nurse opened the door and said, "Dr. Cuddy, Natalie's parents are here."

It took a moment for Cuddy to let her legs comply with the necessity of moving out of House's way. As she started to move, House followed after her. Not really sure what the premise of his plan were anymore.


	4. Drunken wait

Author's note: Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been very busy. But if you still enjoy or just discovered this story and like it, **please review**! It'll definitely make me upload faster. You have no idea how fast I can upload if I want to.

Problems with this chapter: I'm sure there are many because it's hard to know how to make it go where it's supposed to be going but I guess that if you're familiar with Shakespeare's Hamlet pattern, you'll see where I'm going.

* * *

Chapter 4: Drunken Wait.

As House was following Cuddy to meet Natalie's parents, all he could think of was how he had managed to get himself into an even bigger mental mess. He had joked about Hamlet with Cuddy prior to this new situation. A situation he had created for himself in order to reach a goal that was then inevitably leading Cuddy towards a questioning he would have trouble answering.

He was more concerned about Natalie than the puzzle. This implied a turn for the worse in House's head. This new personality was suddenly taking over him. As Hamlet had decided to act mad to avenge his father's death, House had simply decided to pretend to be Citizen Joe to mess with his boss and try to coerce her into reflecting upon her appreciation of him, fondness and –what he sure hoped to be, feelings.

Critics have always questioned Hamlet's sanity. Had he in fact turned mad? Had he in fact become mad through his own deed and stubbornness?

The question House drew here was: Where does 'pretend' stop? Once it is back to sanity, normality or when it reaches insanity, reality?

House was probably not on the verge of coming up with his own soliloquy as an actual suicide had never been part of his life plan, but his thought process and feelings were starting to get to him like never before.

But at that moment the only thing or in this case person that could make him put his troubles aside was about to address a much traumatized girl's issues of the day.

"Mr. Turner, Mrs. Turner. I'm Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine." She addressed Natalie's parents in the hall.

"Like I give a damn about who you are!" Mr. Turner said.

"Honey, calm down." His wife tried, "Dr. Cuddy, where is our daughter?" The woman asked with an apologetic face.

House had frown at the man's comment but decided he would let it slide and let Cuddy do the talking.

Cuddy let go of the frown she had cast upon the man and focused on the gentle old lady, "She is in surgery at the moment."

"Oh my God! Is it because of that man-"The woman expressed. She was clearly panic-stricken.

Cuddy had no time to produce an answer that House had already stepped in, "No, it is not related. I think her emotional state and the spasms it might have caused are responsible and triggered her condition." He paused, seeing Cuddy and the older woman entranced by his soothing voice and serenity. "I don't have any more information at the moment but as her attending-"

"Who said you would be?" Cuddy cut in.

"I've saved her once; I'll do what I have to do again." He expressed, invoking their rightful power play with a look she had not seen on New House yet. The kind of look that would never just bring up the power play but also, all sorts of tingles.

"What the fuck is this?" The man who had been deprived of his speech by his wife had decided to make another and reinforced entrance, "Aren't you an administrator? Aren't you supposed to have some authority over doctors?"

"Sir, I know you want the best possible care for your daughter-"Cuddy tried, ready to comply with the man's obnoxious attitude. After all, he had almost lost his daughter twice in a day.

"I'm not concerned about her!" He said, "I'm concerned about the state of those miserable individuals that populate this fucking country."

"Excuse me?" Cuddy let out.

"Conrad, stop!" His wife tried to stop him.

"You shut up." But it was no use, "My daughter has been living among your kind for too long. She's not bad looking but neither is she physically fortunate; she's no match for anyone. She acts stupidly because her inner senses have vanished since she started working here."

"I suggest you calm down, sir-"Cuddy tried again.

"Let him speak." House simply said, eyeing the older man attentively. Cuddy had no more respect for House at that very moment.

"I've decided not to talk to her anymore but she talks to my wife and Alice does report back to me you know." He was on a roll, "She has been talking about you doctors, you with your outrageous wardrobe." Cuddy shot him a look she had only been used to give to House –once upon a time, "And you, Dr. House. What? Just because you've saved her from some potential death, you think I should respect you and let you take care of my daughter?" He paused. House was staring at the man, looking unfazed, "They say you're the best, well I don't care, and you don't deserve to treat her because you're part of the reason why my daughter and I don't talk anymore. You're abrasive and treat people and especially nurses like crap. And she doesn't deserve to be treated by you because she hasn't been smart enough to quit her job. It's not like she was smart to begin with any-"

The man was using what appeared to be a contradictory phrasing on purpose, House noticed. Exactly what he would use to lead people into thinking he was being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk. House thought he was probably making a valid point though as the man indeed had spoken in form as well as in substance and beyond. If House didn't (want to) know any better, he would think he had met his double.

He had no time to finish as his wife finally broke out of her silence, "Conrad!" she yelled, "Dr. House will treat her whether you like it or not. And may I remind you that you are the one who led her astray? You've abused your power as the father figure I've allowed you to be for all those years. I love you but I can't help but regret being with you when I see you act like this."

"I don't trust him." The man looked at House. He was tall and seemed quite strong for an old man.

"Our daughter has spent her day between life and death; I suggest you think about that." The old lady paused and looked back at Cuddy, "Dr. Cuddy, when can we see her?"

"She should be out of the OR in a few hours."

"Thank you." The woman said, taking her husband by the arm and leading him towards the exit. Probably to get him to clear his head, thanks to the cold December night.

"What the hell was that?" Cuddy muttered to herself and by extension, House.

"Hey, doc!" The older man said one last time as he followed his wife like a puppy, "You'll probably get to screw her but she'll make you miserable if you start respecting her."

House didn't like the man's tone although it definitely seemed to be working between him and his wife. But the way he had spoken of Natalie as it turns out had not triggered House's need to return to his old and certainly not lost, self.

Cuddy had been dumbfounded. This man was a seriously deranged case of a human being. Eventually, she got out of her virtual frozen chamber and said, "Can you believe that guy?"

"Doesn't he remind you of anyone?" House let out, mastering in his art to hide the obvious concern his question implied.

"He's not like-"She tried but was cut off by House before she could say another word.

"I'll be back in an hour to check on her." He said and left her standing there, alone and fearful that reality would soon come crash down on her again. She couldn't believe he had remained stoic this whole time. She didn't think House would care about the man's words towards his daughter. But at least, she thought House would counter back and give the old man a taste of his own powerful abrasiveness. Deep down, she wished he had. And yet, she did not wish to complain.

* * *

House hadn't gone too far. After he went to pick up his coat in his office, he decided to face the cold evening with his own two feet and cane. He would deal with his newfound (every single one of them) issues the only way he knew he could. Money and a cane would be enough to get drunk and avoid drunkards' fist fights. He would get into trouble and he knew it. But not while he would be drinking.

* * *

About two hours later, House wandered the halls of PPTH in a state that most of the staff would have qualified to be beyond intoxication. He appeared quite clear headed but his speech was slow and his disheveled self only enhanced the nature of his drunkenness: a desperate attempt at happily rationalizing. Whatever had happened earlier, the staff knew better than to stop him from entering the room Natalie was in. Besides, it's not like he wasn't being nice and polite to them –surprisingly, but that's a given.

"Well good evening, ladies!" House said, definitely drunk.

"House, what the hell-"

Cuddy –who had been there discussing Mr. Turner's behavior with Mrs. Turner, tried to say.

"I'm drunk, I know! I'm sorry but I couldn't just let him off the hook that easily." House said, not making any sense to anyone else in the room except for Natalie who was still under anesthesia.

"House what are you talking about?" Cuddy asked and noticed Mr. Turner arriving behind House.

House saw the look in her eyes and instinctively turned around, "Mr. Turner, how are you this fine evening?"

"What does the jerk want now?" Mr. Turner said, through gritted teeth.

"Nothing, I just want to knoooww if you have come to terms with the faaact that I'm your daughter's attending physician." House said his drunken state finally apparent to Cuddy and Mrs. Turner. And of course it was now obvious to Mr. Turner.

"I've tried not to give it any thought." The man tried to remain passive. His wife's look demanded him to be.

"Too bad, I'll just have to explain to your daughter whom she has to be thankful to. And that the only way she can pay me for saving her life would be through a few sweet cock-sucking times a week. Thanks Daddy for not caring about your daughter!" House smiled nevertheless ready for the inevitable.

"You son of a bitch!" The man threw a punch at House who was instantly thrown to the ground, "You touch my daughter and I'll kill you."

"Stop!" Cuddy and Mrs. Turner both said, their cry occurring almost simultaneously. Cuddy had gotten on her knees, about to attend to House while Alice Turner would try to stop her husband's fury.

Damn the man's strength, House thought he wouldn't be able to finish what he had to say. Although this punch would make him feel slightly less dazed now, "Then… maybe you should" he started again, rubbing his left cheek slightly, "make sure she is thankful her dad loves her so much."

Stunned. That was the state House's words had rendered Mr. Turner to. He no longer wished to kill the doctor whom a minute ago wanted his daughter to agree to sexually please him. His closed fist had been made loose.

Mrs. Turner found herself admiring the doctor in front of her. He had entered the room an ass and all she had wanted at first was to kick him out. But realization had hit her as well and all she could think about was how she would thank him.

Cuddy was entranced that House was House. He had beaten the older man at his own game. She looked at him intensely and no matter how much she felt at a crossroad with those two versions of House: House would always care. The nature of his I-have-changed game was dangerous. But the man behind the game wasn't.

House quit looking at Mr. Turner to face Cuddy's intense look and said, "I don't think I'll be able to start a DDX tonight, Cuddy."

"Oh no! You aren't getting out of this so easily." She insisted. House hadn't expected her to curl her hands around one of his arms and tug upwards so that she would help him raise him up to his feet.

"I might be clear-headed Cuddy but I'm still drunk. I'm slow, I won't figure out anything tonight." He said, tiredness written all over his face.

"Maybe not but I'm going to make sure that hangover goes away." She said, helping him up and leading him down towards the locker room. Cuddy gave what could be seen as an apologetic look to Mrs. Turner –except it wasn't. House had sent a message the older man's wife was already thankful for. A glimpse of a knowing look took crossed from one woman to the other. House looked at Conrad Turner and as far as he was concerned, he had just been granted the permission to treat someone who deserved to be saved, according to a loving but obnoxious human being of a father.

* * *

As soon as Cuddy had managed to take House down to the locker room, she stopped him from making a halt. She went away a few seconds and then led him in the direction of the showers. House wasn't given much time to think about what would happen within the next ten seconds as Cuddy had used all her strength to push his (almost) dead weight under one of the closed showers spray. Now trapped between two walls, House started to feel the cool falling water on him. His eyes had remained closed. Not too cold, not too hot. It simply felt good.

"Take off your clothes, House." Cuddy said, "You can still catch a cold if you don't."

"I can't do it myself." He said with all that was left of his confidence –he felt lighter though. This wasn't about being the nice or bad House to Cuddy. It was just fun to finally utter something he was familiar with. Maybe his awakening –that being a force of good an evil didn't necessarily have to end bad, had happened thanks to someone else's.

Never in a million years had he thought Cuddy would accept to go in the shower with him. Fully dressed she joined him under the cool spray. He eyed her suspiciously and said, "You do realize you might catch a cold too now, right?" A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She looked down at their feet for a second, probably lost into her sea of thoughts. "I know." She finally said, tilting her head back and positioning her hands on her shirt. She lifted it over her head in such a fast motion that House had fixed the piece of clothing instead of what he normally would have been staring at. The water kept tumbling down on them, ruining her make up and giving her bra a newfound see-through-ness. Not that House was drawn to this particular part of her body.

He looked at her arms and hands carefully as she started to unbutton his shirt. Cuddy would catch glimpses of the water splashing mainly over him here and there. She was being attentive to her task, "The cock-sucking part definitely had the desired effect if you want my opinion." She said as she took his shirt off.

"Shocking, wasn't it?" House said, searching her eyes that were too focused on his T-shirt to comply with his unspoken demand: for their eyes to lock.

"I thought you were being nice these days."

"I said I had changed, Cuddy." He smirked, "Look at Wilson when he's drunk." He paused, "Not always nice."

"So this was a game within the game." Cuddy asked as she had got rid of his T-shirt. Her eyes moved from his naked torso to his lips. She just wouldn't dare look at him in her present partial nudity.

"Whatever you think it is Cuddy, it worked, didn't it?"

"But what was it that was supposed to work, House?"She asked, "Sure, we now know he loves his daughter even though he's incapable to willingly show it." She paused, licking her lips, "But I want to know why you took this so personally."

"You want to know how it relates to me." He said, blunt. Her eyes went straight to his. He didn't use the word "if", he said "how". Frank from the start, this was definitely a House she didn't know how to get used to. To make the situation even more uncomfortable than it already was, House moved from under the spray to come closer to the opposite wall where Cuddy had tried to retract herself to. A hand on each side of wall blocking Cuddy's small frame from exiting space and time, which thanks to the length and muscular trait of his arms, had made the trap seem like he was about to back her up against the wall and kiss her ferociously. 'Seem', because it wasn't House's attention. Although he would clearly enjoy the power his mental and physical impulse to have an intimate conversation with her, had over her.

This wasn't nice House because suddenly, all she wanted was him. The raw him.

"He is the man I thought I would become." House explained, his look was tender and yearning for something beyond what nature would allow him to obtain. Not that Cuddy could see all of that but somehow it wasn't impossible for her to sense it. "I had to make him realize he was making a giant mistake, that's all." He finished.

Cuddy swallowed hard, "What did it make you realize when you did it, then?"

"That people don't necessarily have to change who they are to change a couple of life principles and perspectives. It's the premise to a change that is hard to find and build from scratches, the rest, I believe, should come naturally." He said and instantly shivered as he felt her hands tentatively resting on each side of his waist.

"I think you're just trying to be a better person, House." She used that sexy laugh that House knew was hard to listen to when trying to remain adamant to a particularly chemistry filled situation. And it wasn't simply because of the water. Elements he had no control over, the divine providence to some could actually be his downfall because nothing could be fair towards one of the biggest jerks mankind has ever known.

"And I think-"She uttered as her hands moved along his spine and all the way up to the back of his neck, "you were right."

"About what?" A small chuckle escaped him as he tried to joke. He was in fact petrified by her change in demeanor.

She moved her head closer to his, placing her lips only a few inches away from his, "That right now… I want you."

She let a small hesitation transpire for a moment until there was no reason to acknowledge anything other than the jerk, "Next time you want to take a shower with me, take your clothes off yourself."

And with that one sentence she knew she had him. She left the shower, confident in her ability to escape his seductive grip on her.

Lisa Cuddy masters at undressing but not at lying. And all House could think of was how he'd get to convince her that all she wants is to precisely do what they had just done. He was a master at lying. And in order to destroy the lie upon which their working relationship was born –that none of them wanted a relationship with the other, House would have to keep doing what he does best. Never had it been so pleasant to sober up.

After she had picked up a towel, she rushed in the direction of the locker room and borrowed a lab coat (the "in case of emergency lab coats") to cover herself up before going back to her office and find a change of clothes. She was flustered and she let out the best double entendre word there has ever been, "Perfect!"

He was perfect but their situation? Always the opposite.

* * *

Should I continue? Y/N?


	5. Perfect Haloism

**Author's note:** I know an omniscient type of writing can be the most atrocious thing ever especially when you're not a true writer but I can't help doing it. It won't necessarily be subtle but I'm mostly using these sentences as transitions and/or to bound -and sometimes broaden, possible interpretation. My Lit teacher told us the other day that an author is never in control of his writing and I surely hope that you guys can see this in my pathetic writing.

I hope you like this chapter. Btw, I don't write the most graphic stuff but that doesn't mean I won't at some point. If you want a vaginal or rectal exploration, this story is probably not for you. Sex is great but the rating M doesn't have to become the equivalent of the definition of a porn movie. It's just way more easier to watch a movie. So no PWP for me. And as far as this story is concerned, this isn't a porn script. Thank God, I guess, because those aren't usually very long. If I ever write a story about the exploration of every organs in the human body and happen to call it Genitalia, well, then I'll change my major and go to med school. OBGYN is an amazing specialty, I'm sure. But when I write sex stuff, I want it to mean something in terms of the characters. Guess, I'm a hopeless romantic or a saddist, whichever you prefer. But it always depends on what kind of story you write.

**So, review people!! (and thx to all of those who've reviewed so far. It made my day yesterday.)**

* * *

Chapter 5: Perfect Halo-ism

If House had to not be proud of one thing though, it was that he couldn't have kept Cuddy away from her current boyfriend more than one night. The bathroom experience was one of a kind but it wasn't enough to lower Cuddy's desire to continue her relationship with Mark. Yes, House knew that man's name very well. In fact, in the past, it did bother him to retain people's names. Well, people he had no respect for that was. But in order to remain in character he had accustomed himself to using those names. Natalie was a different story; he had been treating her for the past two days and had connected with her on levels that went beyond love and hate. He just felt connected. Pure and simple. After all, she could be his daughter twenty years from now. House was Mr. Turner. But a Mr. Turner to his significant other isn't the same as a Mr. Turner to his spawn. Mr. Turner was him and his dad in one. House didn't want to be either of them, except for the love that was inevitably there.

His team still couldn't believe how much he had changed. They knew better than to rely on it for too long but a nice House was all they would get for the time being. And as far as they were concerned it didn't prevent him or them from doing their job right. Natalie's malformation of the throat wasn't what had caused her to collapse on the floor two nights before. Visceral leishmaniasis is a nasty thing but its strong strains are a whole other level of nastiness. Once House had come up with his last theory and had to use quite the experimental treatment, he lost no time to go ask Cuddy before she would leave her office. To House's surprise with Mark. Indeed, he knew that name. How much he wanted it to be just a name that very moment. He hadn't seen her for two whole days and he had trouble breathing at the sight before him. If a kiss is just a kiss, House had no desire to be the voyeur he had been victimized to be. For once, he wished she had shut the blinds. It unnerved him, no, it grossed him out. Not leaving his thoughts aside, he knocked on her door.

"Come in." She said, slowly parting from Mark's lips, not bothering to look at the person who had knocked.

"Sorry to intrude, I have to ask your permission for testing the new experimental Visceral Leishmaniasis treatment on Natalie." House said, and again, looking nice and sexy as hell in his ironed jeans.

"Black fever? How come she has-" Cuddy tried, slightly stepping away from Mark in the process.

"Two months ago, she went to Africa." House paused, rubbing his temple, "She had a fever after the surgery, her mother and some of the nurses had noticed weight loss and fatigue. The team saw the anemia and substantial swelling of the liver and spleen."

"All of that?" Mark remarked. One stupid attempt at lighting up the mood.

Cuddy gave him a look that said long about how she felt when someone who isn't a doctor touched the subject of medicine. She turned back to face House, "Considering she hasn't died five weeks ago, I assume she produces large numbers of TH1-type T-Cells, therefore why would it be-"

"Some of the stronger strains of L. donovani appear to be able to force a switch in the host from a TH1 to a TH2-type immune response as the infection progresses." House paused, licking his lips slightly. Cuddy never missed that, a thinking House is like an orgasm; whether it is intense or not she always wanted more. She wouldn't stop him here, "Her immune system did work; only it hadn't eliminated the disease. Let's say it merely quarantined it. Two days ago, the switch happened."

"So you need to target each organ." She sighed, knowing exactly where he was going.

"Yes, the treatment is a stimulation of Th1-cell responses and-"He started saying but she cut her off.

"And induction of endogenous IFN-"She added, "do it." Her voice enhancing her already illuminated eyes. If medicine, diagnosis could rhyme with sex, this was it. Back and forth, back and forth. One step ahead, one step back. Sometimes more, and once in a billion times, none of the other.

It was their world and nothing could have stopped this exchange.

He nodded, pleased with her understanding of the situation. Sure the treatment was experimental but he knew he wouldn't have to push it to convince her. She would know it was the only possible solution for the time being, "No matter what I may say, you are a great endocrinologist." He said before leaving. He looked nice, sexy as hell in those jeans and he was right.

"The man has a stern face!" Mark said, doing a funny stern face.

She raised an eyebrow at him and said, "What?"

"I mean, he seems very professional."

"Have I ever said he wasn't?" She remarked.

"You said he was an ass."

If she had to describe House in a few words to Mark, she simply wouldn't because the man had opened so many doors to her heart with the years that her speech could go on… and on. This time it would be a parking space for House to use at his will. Mark wouldn't need a parking space; he was the right candidate to come through the small door she had opened specifically for him and stay.

"He is." She said simply.

"He doesn't look like one." Mark couldn't help but remark, "I even think he was sort of flirting with you in there." This for a man such as him meant that House was in fact very much of a gentleman because his words appeared subtle.

"Actually," She began, "he wasn't." Cuddy knew better.

"Well, I don't want to notice when he does then." Mark let out, a little less enthusiastic about the situation. He quickly changed the subject seeing he had made her uncomfortable, "Anyway, I can't wait to see you in that dress tonight. Of course, it's not the only thing I wish to see." He emphasized his last words in the hope of getting a small chuckle from her. Always a good sign when it came to Lisa Cuddy.

She lived up to his expectations, "The fundraiser will bring you all that."

"Good." He said, smiling down on her. "I have to go to work, I'll come and pick you up tonight at 7." He gave her a quick peck on the lips and left her office. Mark couldn't have known she had been the one to flirt because the jerk had come to ask her permission with proper arguments and somehow, out of respect for her medical specialty. She was simply not the one wearing the halo anymore.

* * *

Wilson entered House's office that afternoon and immediately refrained himself from making a joke about his friend's narcissism. House had four neatly ironed ties resting on his desk and a fifth one in his hand.

"Did you steal those?" Wilson cocked a brow at his friend.

"Which one do you think I should wear with my black tux tonight?" He asked Wilson.

"You're actually asking my opinion?"

"I've asked your opinion in the past."

"Not in those words." Wilson corrected, "So take the ugly club blue one, people will scream at the sight of you."

"You don't like who I am now, do you?" House smirked.

"No, I like him; I just prefer the old disheveled version better."

"So, no ties then."

"No ties." Wilson smiled.

"Who are you going with?" House asked.

"I know you probably don't want me to dwell on my _sexcapades_ right now but in all fairness, I've had none so-"

"You've hired a hooker?" House asked.

"Nonsense! I'm going with you!"

"Okay." House said simply.

"Wai-wai-wait, what?" Wilson paused, flabbergasted, "You're not going with Mindy, Candy, Tindy, Findy or whatever stupid name one of your 'working' girls has come up with?"

"No. I'm not doing that anymore. And don't try to find a pun there." House explained.

"So you're not even going to try to make a mess of Cuddy's party? The party she took two months to plan?"

"I don't want to make a mess."

"See, that's not true. You always have a plan. You need this. It's your guilty pleasure." He said, pointing a finger him, "Scratch the guilty part but essentially yes, you thrive on making Cuddy miserable."

"If Cuddy happened to be miserable tonight…"House started, "it won't be from my doing."

"And it will give you an answer to…" Wilson tried to comprehend what he hoped was House's subtle way of being the old pal he knew.

"I'm not looking for an answer." House said.

"Right, you've had your answer for twenty years." Wilson rolled his eyes.

House couldn't help but smile at that, nice House somehow makes subtle House prevail. And Wilson can never be fooled when it comes to the object of House's sexual obsession or -he hoped, affection.

"If I see her cry, I'll kill you." Wilson said, half serious of course.

"And with that you admit that even good guys can make big girls cry." House sighed.

"I know I've always been your role model but please don't use that excuse with me. You're both just as screwed up as the other."

"You think she can make me cry?"

"Do you want to cry?"

"Sometimes." House said.

"What the-"Wilson lost his train of thoughts, "I thought we were going on … some crazy recovery path in regards to your condition of niceness… never mind. I now officially consider you deranged!"

"Not used to this, are you?" House let out a low laugh.

"Please, come back to me, you manipulative bitch."

"No, that's your title, Mr. Royalty."

"At least you can still joke like a human being." Wilson shook his head, "Trust me, it's not near as good as it used to be."

"You're a great friend, Wilson." House said.

"Oh my God! House please, stop!" Wilson said, smiling, "I'll see you tonight and please, let's not talk there, let's just get drunk."

"That's not very friendly." House said as his friends went to leave the room.

"No but at least I won't have to suffer Cuddy's pain! I'm not as strong as she is, trust me!" He said, lifting his arm in the air, showing House that not even niceness could come between them.

House thought about it for a second, the ties that bind him and his friends would forever be magical. In the mist of his current interactions, one of the ways for him to get to her was probably to go tieless.

* * *

House had come back to his place to take a shower. Cuddy had done the same. If fate wasn't as improbable as the Laws of probability and average, then House and Cuddy had to be dead because for them to take their shower at exactly the same time wasn't something even the cruelest love stories of all time would cover. House and Cuddy both knew the other was taking a shower. And the answer to the first question that would pop up inside a third party's head is an easy one. Technology. House had decided to text Cuddy prior to getting his naked self into the shower.

_Taking a shower. Sorry to text you for no reason._

And Cuddy had text back before getting her naked self under the water spray.

_Taking a shower. Stop texting me… for no reason._

Again, the two had questions they wouldn't get their respective answers to. Two questions and one answer, really. It's easier to live than learn and lie. Their small texting session had given them the ability to learn something about the other and to lie. House had wanted to text her and Cuddy didn't want him to stop. Because the next thing they were doing was living. In fact, they were re-living the moment they had shared at the hospital two days ago. Cuddy knew House wouldn't give up on this; but it wasn't like she hadn't led him on to begin with. House and Cuddy had both split their screen of thoughts. Actions put in parallel, a greater risk for them to fall into temptation. One is always allowed to touch themselves privately but as soon as the mind reaches unfiltered imagination, resistance is futile.

House and Cuddy are bound to be private people. But they give each other something to believe in. It makes them feel like the one. One thinking for two with the need to go far; as far as sexual thoughts will lead two people under a shower spray. Impulses and need don't always associate with the concept of acceptance. Denial is closer to acceptance for some people. For these two, it seems easier to deal with the denial they've shared for so long. It just is.

"You talk too much." Cuddy broke the moans that had expressed her sensations, "I never had to answer…"

"You don't deserve her." House let out, hitting the wall before him with all the strength he had, "I'm pathetic."

"He owns you." Cuddy said, having rested her back against the wall opposite the spray, "What am I left with?"

"She owns you." House uttered, his arms resting on the wall where the spray was, "Come on, give me something!"

"Everything!" She told herself, "You are not with him Lisa. No, you are not!"

"Nothing…" He told himself, "You are not with her Greg. Yes, you aren't."

Two water sprays turned off and an entire level of experience had burned up in waters.

"And yet…screw you."

* * *

Again, I hope you liked it.


	6. I hope my smile can distract you

**AN:** A very long one for you and I sure hope you guys review this one because reviews WILL make me upload faster. So, basically, yes, I want many many many reviews. (hm I've noticed a couple of letters missing, not my fault, ffs. And those can't be rectified. The rest: grammar errors, spelling are mine)

* * *

Chapter 6: I hope my smile can distract you.

"I am he as you are you." House told Wilson who was down to his third drink already.

Wilson was desperately trying to get the bartender's attention. But it was all in vain. "As philosophical as this sounds, and it sounds good, I don't want to hear it. You are not my House and I want him back."

House rolled his eyes and thought about what he could do to make his friend feel better.

"I'm sure you must have some sort of twisted plan that needs final touches. Don't worry, I'm going to seat here by myself, keep on trying to get drunk," he paused, seeing that the bartender had too much on his hands to notice him, "while you go turn the woman of your dreams upside down –whatever that means." He finished, defeated.

"Nope, I have no plans."House explained, "I've given up."

Wilson shot him a baffled look, "Then why haven't you turned back into your old self already?"

"I like this guy." House said, obviously talking about himself.

"Well, I don't!" Wilson said before he focused his attention back on the bartender, "Hey buddy, need a refill here-"he tried.

Out of the open, House called after the bartender, "Hey Davis, will you please give my friend a JD on the rocks?"

"Sure thing, Greg! Scotch coming your way." Davis, the bartender said.

"Thanks, man."

"How did you-"Wilson tried, "How do you know this guy?" The younger doctor was bewildered to say the least. And his scotch was in front of him in a matter of seconds.

"I arrived early. He and I got to talk a bit and he's actually a very nice man." House said, gulping the last quarter of his own scotch.

"How come you're not drunk already?" Wilson asked, fundamentally not amused that he was the sole drunkard at the bar so far. Then again, it was only 8:30pm.

"Like you said, it is Cuddy's fundraiser, I don't want to mess this up for her." House acknowledged.

"And you dare say that –"Wilson tried, taking a sip from his own drink.

"No scheme, no nothing. I'm just here because, "He sighed," I don't-"He couldn't finish his sentence as he saw a few women glancing at him seductively.

"What?" Wilson said and turned his face to meet what House was gazing at. "Oh right! Of course, now all the women want you." He rolled his eyes, "I've been nice for like… all my life and in a matter of days, you get more girls checking you out than I have since I lost my virginity."

House almost spilled his drink. How he wanted to make a sarcastic comment at that moment. This one was priceless and it was extremely difficult for him not to say anything. Things were going so well. But his best friend had to be…actually, the reason why they were best friends to begin with.

Wilson noticed that and couldn't help but say, "I know you're in there somewhere." He smiled as he saw the look on his friend. House was boiling on the inside. "Virgin Wilson is a sensible subject, I'll give you that."

House held back laughter and instead, gave his friend a feeble smile.

"Let the jerky goofy you embrace its body back." Wilson reasoned. He was about to put a hand on his friend's shoulder when a gorgeous blonde interrupted the friendly gesture, "Hi, I'm Denise. Do you mind if I sit with you?" She asked, eyeing the man with a cane from head to toe.

"Sure." House said, looking rather pleasant in Wilson's opinion.

To the woman before him he looked far more than just pleasant. What she saw was a well-built man wearing black and white like no other. To her the cane was merely a symbol of damage and more about experience. Life is a rocky road indeed and like most women attending social gatherings of the sort, she hoped it would get rocky for her tonight.

"Oh my-"Wilson suddenly said. House didn't look at his friend again, slightly interested by the one sided conversation Denise had started.

"…I was talking about you with my friend Linda, over there-" She turned her head over in the direction of her friend to wave at her, before she turned her attention back to House, "and she just said 'what do you have to lose? He seems extremely pleasant.'" She paused, looking at him with lust, "And you are."

"House, you have got to see this." Wilson said, amazed by the sight entering the walls of PPTH.

"I'm flattered." House told the woman, "So, how long have you been donating for this hospital?"

"Hou-"Wilson tried again before he put a hand on his friend's shoulder to make him look, "House!"He said louder but the older man didn't bulge.

"My brother was diagnosed with Lupus over five years ago. I wasn't there at the time but I heard that the doctor whom had treated him was the biggest jerk he had ever seen." She said, "Except that doctor was the one who figured it all out. I usually don't go to fundraiser-"

He cut her off, "Some kind of silent donor, huh?" The man was truly observant. Focused and undoubtedly smart. And no one could take that away from him. Not even niceness.

"You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen, House." Wilson said, giving up on what he had wished House had seen.

"Yes. But I received this invitation a few weeks ago and brought a few friends along." She said and added, "The plus side of being an important donor is that you can invite more people along; not that I want you to think I'm interesting because I have some money, this isn't-" she was on the verge of rambling before he cut her off, once again.

Putting a hand on the side of her arm he said, "I had no idea you had so much money to spend two minutes ago, I'm a doctor, I have sufficient income, maybe not as much as you do but money isn't a topic that could scare me off. I know you're not trying to buy me to satisfy… whatever it is that you need to satisfy. Besides I'm not the most handsome-"

Wilson couldn't stop rolling his eyes at each words uttered by the blonde and his friend, respectively.

She cut him off before he could finish his train of thoughts, "You are." She paused, licking her lips, "I actually came here to see who that Dr. House that treated my brother was. I want to tell him how grateful I am but also kick him in the nuts. My brother went to therapy because of him…not that it was a bad thing actually, he needed it." She smiled, "But now I don't want to, I just want to know more about you, are you-"

"I'm the Head of Diagnostics here." He said, smiling back, he took a deep breath and added, "I'm Dr. Gregory House."

Wilson who had been waiting impatiently for his friend to at least give him a sign that he had seen what he had made clear needed to be seen, finally stood up and wished his friend a good night, "I'm going to see the most insanely interesting person here tonight which for once doesn't happen to be you."He gulped the rest of his drink, "And by the way, she's even more gorgeous than you." And within seconds, he was gone.

"Who is he talking about?" The 30-something year old woman asked.

"He has been drunk for two hours; I didn't even listen to him." House decided to acknowledge.

The woman simply nodded and gave him another bright smile, "So… Dr. House. How come you're not a jerk?"

"People change, I guess."

"Well, even if you haven't… really, I think I like you."

* * *

Not only hadn't he moved to meet her, he hadn't even looked at her. Not once did their eyes meet. Lisa Cuddy wasn't devastated. Far from it, no, she was way past the submissive state she had always had been in around him. Even his stupid remarks about her far too revealing cleavage, her ass that would always cover each sides of a room and more she couldn't even begin to think of at that moment, weren't as awful as him not looking at her. She would forbid her own brain to admit it but he was the only man that looked at her in a way that could make her feel above beautiful… beautifully relevant in a very twisted way. She was angry. She was sad. Indeed, she would lie to everyone but herself if she claimed she wasn't devastated. Two showers with him –although one was part of her fertile imagination, and she still didn't know what to do with herself. However, she knew what she wanted to do to Denise Lacksberg at that moment. It was to rip her money out. Or her eyes, whichever would make her disappear from her view.

"You look fantastic." Wilson said, looking a little tipsy.

"Wilson, are you alright?" Cuddy frowned, letting go of Mark's arm abruptly.

"I'm just a little drunk but don't worry, I meant what I said." He said. It seemed clear-headed enough for Cuddy. She couldn't help but smile. Her knight in shining armor was in fact that earnest sidekick she desperately wanted to avoid having a conversation with. Only, so far, he was making her smile and for a minute she could feel better.

"She is perfect." Mark said, bringing her back to him. Cuddy closed her eyes as he kissed her temple. "Let's go get you something to drink. And some booze for us men." Mark winked at Wilson, who gave the bigger man an easy, although sleepy nod.

As the got closer to the bar, Cuddy silently cringed at what she was witnessing.

"No, you didn't!" Denise exclaimed laughing, rising from her stool. In the form of a slap, the simple contact of Denise's hand against House's chest made Cuddy feel nauseous.

"It's true, I used to do that all the time." House said, smiling back with equal laughter.

"Either you're screwing with me by trying to be nice or your people can't see you've always done it for their own good." She said, having trouble breathing.

Cuddy made a halt before they had reached the counter. He was perfect, he was nice, and everybody loved him except her. She hated this night, she hated this moment and she hated the song that was playing over and over inside her head. Cuddy had never been the deeply emotional type but she was an avid music fan, and like most people from her generation, she had been trained to come up with background music that would suit her mood. Like movie director would pick out a song to fit with a scene. Why Pills by the Perishers popped up inside her personal movie that night, she knew and had no idea at the same time. But this was her scene and she had no desire to live it any longer.

"I have to go do my 'rounds'," Cuddy tried to joke. She saw the weird look Wilson was giving her and added, "Donors, old patients and a few doctors… I have to go talk to them. Business…bring me a Martini." She rambled fast before she went as far away from the bar as possible, the people dancing, her heels and long blue dress almost making her stumble in the process.

Two hours later, exhausted by the many scenes (donors, doctors, his team gathered around him) she had sworn she wouldn't make; Cuddy had finally sat down at her table for more than a few minutes. She was drinking her third Martini and wasn't light headed enough to her liking.

House was dancing. He was swaying to a crappy song with a trashy lady as she would silently put it. She couldn't believe how focused on her he had been the entire night. She hadn't come to him and he hadn't come to her.

"Hi gorgeous," Mark said, making her jump out of her bitter reverie, "Wanna dance?"He asked, extending his hand to her. She smiled and accepted his hand. But she couldn't keep doing this. She had to make a decision: she either wanted him or didn't. The bigger question was who she wanted him to be.

People had shook his hand all night, probably congratulated him for saving Natalie's life twice. In two days he had brought more donors to a fundraiser than he, the jerk and most doctors had in ten years.

He was now good –no, he was already good – better to this hospital but worse for her.

Just as if they hadn't known each other for over twenty years, he never made a single eye contact with her. Wasn't she even remotely attractive? Lisa Cuddy wasn't so full of herself but he was probably the only man in the hall who hadn't looked at her the entire night. The thought that it had to be another game on his part crossed her mind. But ultimately, she felt it was dragged down over a much too long period of time for it to be just a game. But even he would make a snide comment to make it clear it was one. As she swayed into the man that had accompanied her that night, her train of thoughts was stuck on House. He could make her see everything as if they had never been together one night such a long time ago. It was a first. Something new-House had no reason to be interested in, apparently. He was more than just ignoring her; she was the only one who knew the other existed.

"I'm a little tired." House said to his partner on the dance floor, "I'm sorry but my cane can only last so long."

She tightened her grip on his shoulders (which her arms were circling) and brought her face closer to his, "But the night is young, Greg." She told him, with a sultry smile, "I don't want to let go just yet."

House smiled some more, probably at her subtle ways, and grabbed her hand with his. As he started to lead her out of the dance floor, Cuddy felt a surge of anger rise again.

"Hey, what's going on?" Mark asked her, concerned.

"I don't know, I just-"She made a step back, letting go of him and as she spun around, she crashed into a waiter. Sounds of shattering glass were suppressed by the loud background music.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." The waiter practically screamed as he saw the mess his tray falling off had made of Cuddy's dress. It was stained with the various alcoholic beverages which had spilled on it.

"That's okay-"She tried to say, still recovering from the shock. She looked at her dress and felt slightly horrified at the see-through turn it had taken.

"You moron! Can't you look where you're going?" Mark practically yelled as well at the waiter.

"Stop it, Mark. You're about to make a scene for nothing." Cuddy said, not as much bothered about her dress than she was a few seconds before. This man was becoming a pain even though he was trying to be a gentleman. She had made the mistake of not looking where she was going, "We were close to where the waiters work, so it's not his fault."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm going to look for a towel or something…" The waiter apologized, fearing for his paycheck.

"It's okay. It happens. Don't worry; I have a change of clothes in my office. You go back to work."

"No, we should go home. You've made your 'rounds' anyway, right?", Mark let out.

Cuddy eyed him carefully, "Are you giving me some kind of order?" She took a deep breath and said, "I don't follow orders, okay? And you know why? Because I'm an amazing boss, I have more confidence than you could ever have."She explained before she started to move towards her office. The people around them were staring but she didn't care. Most of the guests hadn't seen anything anyway as far as she could tell. "And by the way, this will be the only thing you'll get to see, ever. Too bad, 'cause I'm a freaking great lay!" And with that she made it clear that he wouldn't get lucky and that he would fall under the category of exes. She was an independent woman and no matter how undermined she would feel sometimes, she was in charge and nothing or no one could order her to do anything. She felt no shame about what had just happened. She was ashamed of herself for thinking about nothing except him.

Not too far in the distance, a very tall, very sexy and very nice man was getting a long peck on the cheek. And eventually, a quick slap on the face.

* * *

Cuddy had finished putting on a pair of blue jeans when a small knock came from the door.

"A minute." She said, taking care of the fly and the last button. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but since the party wasn't over, she knew some people would still want to express their society life ramblings.

Behind the shut blinds that had allowed her a moment to herself, she went to open the lock and was prepared to see anyone but him.

"Hi." He said as she came face to face with him. She went still as his eyes grabbed hers with a force she could physically sense.

For a second or two, she felt as if she hadn't seen him for quite a while. She was forgetting herself before him.

"Hi." She said back, not really sure why she would answer this.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He frowned.

She was about to say something when he not so much as asked but did, "Mind if I come in?" He put his hand above from where hers was on the door and closed it behind him.

"Wow, that office is quite dark actually." He remarked, he might have not been looking at her but his entire being was invading her office. She had to do something, say something except she had no clue about which or what the something was supposed to be.

"It's a nice place to hide at night, I'll give you that." He let out as he moved back to the door where she had remained the entire time.

She saw him move closer to her and instinctively moved in the opposite direction he was coming from, "Well I'm going back to the party." She added as she went to turn off the light coming from the lamp on her desk. From the corner of her eyes she could see that House had come to rest against her door. "You can stay here if you want but I won't let you do the nasty with your girlfriend of the night here." She warned him as she walked back to the door, with for sole light the one coming through the blinds.

As she came to stand before him, she tried to reach for the doorknob. He moved over to block her from opening the door. "See Cuddy, I am nice but sadly, "he paused briefly, "not enough to give myself to Denise."

"Oh! You know her name!" She said, trying to be as sarcastic as can be, "And I'm sorry but if this wasn't you being ass with that comment, I'm Mother Theresa."

"Don't be a bitch." He let out, annoyance clearly expressed.

"I'm a bitch, you've said so yourself for years. Now let me go back to the damn party." She said, trying to beat him at a staring match that was in fact a blind one. She couldn't really see his face, and neither could he.

"No." He said, sternly.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because." He said.

"I don't know you, House." She sighed.

"Neither do I."

"That is so childish!" She feared for the worse. But it always seemed to be about the aftermath of something that hadn't even happened. Denial was always the key to her escape door. "Let me out now." She added before she tried to reach for the doorknob again. He brushed his fingers against her hand that had gripped the knob. It put a stop to her endeavor so abruptly she hadn't realized he had circled the small of her back with his other arm. Her tight jeans came in contact with his black pants. He looked so good, all the time she had looked at him at the party and even there, in the shadow of themselves. It was dark but the fabric was there. Fully dressed, she felt completely naked in his presence.

"No." He said firmly once more.

"Why?" She asked again.

"Because." They were on the same pattern and it was very destabilizing.

Before she could say how crazy this was he breathed to her, "I can't stop looking at you."

She had so much to lose here, in this argument or temptation or whatever it was that was on the verge of breaking her entire sanity. "For your sake, I hope you will lose the ability to look at me, speak to me and know me." She let out and paused before she added, "Why are you here now? And why wasn't I there earlier?"

"Oh, you were there."

"You never even looked at me." She said, trying to escape from his hold on her.

"Trust me. You were there the whole time. And this is why I'm here." He said.

She wanted to put her hands on his chest to push him away. The door might have been the reason that blocked her intention or, not. If only she didn't like the warmth of his body closing in on hers just a little too much.

"I need you to stop manipulating me like this." She said, inevitably putting her hands to his chest.

"I need you to stop thinking for a minute." He said.

"Screw you."

"Screw you and your needs."

"Yes, screw mine!" She let out and before she knew it, she chuckled and shook her head, "I didn't mean it that way…"

House was about to say something when a knock came on the door, "Dr. Cuddy, are you in here?" Instantly, Cuddy put her hand to House's mouth. She said nothing; she didn't really know why she wouldn't. From lack of response, the person, whoever it was, went away.

She moved her hand from his mouth, although she had enjoyed that small moment of power over him. He could have overthrown it but somehow, she was glad he hadn't.

"I am not nice enough not to want you, Cuddy." He said. And they say happiness is a warm gun. His tone had gone from serious to more serious.

"Then I want you to be wholeheartedly nice." She said, not playing his game.

"No, you don't want me to be." He said.

"So I'm a masochist and you didn't look at me once tonight because you wanted to be nice to me?"

"All the other guys were checking you out." He said.

How they could be having this conversation in their current position was a mystery to her. What would the situation be if "it wasn't what it was" happened to be another mystery: one she wished her mind would stop going at.

"Nice guys check out girls, House. It has never been a crime." She explained.

"I was observing you; it's just that I was not ogling you." He stated.

"What was I wearing?" She asked point blank.

"Well a dress and heels… and your hair up in a bun which you're wearing now." He said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought" She exhaled a long breath, "You're an ass because you think I will fall for this. Everyone could have figured that out, House. You're no better-"

He broke her speech as he started to move forward, colliding with her in the process. It made her walk backwards. House had turned into a sense of dread looming over her.

"How many men, including the now ex-boyfriend can tell Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the woman who helped chopped off a part of my leg, that she was wearing an Armani Blue dress that even though covered her cleavage too much, looked more beautiful than the hundreds of other women in the room? That the gown being too long it was difficult to notice the Louis Vuitton metallic heels. That was a little stupid actually considering they're so fucking expensive." He spat out as if he had wished to become her agony. And he was succeeding. Cuddy had reached the end of her trip backwards, her desk beginning to adjust itself between a prison and a sin.

"And I try, really, I tried to make it easy for me, for you but it is so goddamn impossible that in the end, I'll always be an ass to you." He paused inches away from her face. His hands were resting on each sides of where she was by the desk. She could tell he was licking his lips and as she thought he would hold on to his outburst, he toned his speech down. "Because this is the ordinary me…to you." This was the end.

Cuddy hesitated for what seemed to be an eternity to him before she put her arms around his neck and uttered a reasonably low thank you.

After a couple of breath exchanges, Cuddy moved her hands from his shoulders, slowly trailed her fingers down his arms and eventually rested them on his hands. She took his in hers and guided them at the hem of her jeans. Out of pure need to touch her, House complied with her silent demand. Cuddy pulled her T-shirt above her head as he unbuttoned her jean and lowered the zipper. She kicked her shoes off herself as she frantically began to fumble with the button of his shirt. Before her hands could meet with the skin of his toned torso, he removed her jeans, effectively distancing himself from her. She spread out her legs for him. An invitation he had never intended to refuse. She buried her face in his chest, giving him kisses while her parted mouth was a dead give away that they would never be close to a resolution. Or maybe her panting and his moans were a resolution of some kind. Until then, all he had wished was to see her naked again like he had the pleasure to that one time over years ago. This wouldn't happen, he would feel and touch her but he wouldn't see her. And vice-versa. As he started to fumble with the clasp of her bra she brought her hands to his pants, tugging at them as if her life depended on them. Or, him. The need to get closer and closer being the only constancy: their way to somewhere. They didn't want to get lost, lose one another. Except to lose themselves in each other; his pants were down, her bra had been disentangled from her and the first thing that came to his mind was that he had yet to kiss her. She had initiated this, she should have kissed him, he thought. But he felt light headed, his head was spinning and he could feel her tremble under his touch. He closed his eyes for a moment only to open them again the moment he felt her chest rest against his. Her breasts against his skin, like unaltered pleasure rising up and down with every breath. More panting ensued as she felt his hands maneuvered over her panties, a single but louder moan came out as he put the lower part of the small fabric to one side, revealing her sex to this fingers. Never above mere caresses and he would have still led her over the edge if she hadn't quickly decided to remove the last barrier between him and her. Bastard, she thought. And he hadn't even kissed her. She had initiated this; the least he could have done was kiss her. It'll be alright, she told herself, it will be fine, because there is nothing normal here: and that was exactly what they wanted that very moment. House left her thighs and grabbed his penis before she could. It was all just a little too much for him as well. So, he brought his face and lips close to hers. What seemed like the longest foreplay to him was in fact one that had had the less touching, pleasure to the eye and actual oral sex. And all that probably because it wasn't one; they were already having sex, screwing each other's brains out as they say. Cuddy had made sure she was comfortably seated on her desk before she would give in for the big finale, and therefore, an ending she had no desire to see. Or maybe not, she thought, as there, after he had searched angles where there weren't left, he kissed her. She buckled under his lips, inviting him to screw her mouth with each and every passing of his tongue. A wave of both pain and pleasure coursed through her as she felt him thrust into her. He had taken her by surprise, and in recognition, his lower lip was greeted by her teeth. Ferociously bitten but not one to give up on the challenge that was the woman displaying her affection to him, House started a few abrupt thrusts. The cool and pungent feeling Cuddy was experiencing proved one thing, you don't necessarily have or want to adjust to the sex of a man. She never wanted to have to adjust to him and she didn't want him to have to adjust to her either. With each thrust, her legs would spread wider and her moans would trek higher. Bastard. He was making it hard for her to hold back her orgasm. As abruptly as he had made his thrusts to be, he grabbed her ass with one hand, pushed her away with the other and settled her down across the desk. He bent down and began to roam his hands over her breasts, he had stop sliding in and out of her, and for a moment, she thought this abstinence would cost her what he had been so good at building up inside her. But never did he live down to her expectations as he brought her back against him in one swift motion. The sensation, her arching her back and then, coming in contact with his chest for a second time was unbearably perfect. She couldn't let go, let go of him ever. She brought her mouth to his as he would keep on taking her violently, drowning her need inside his. Because oxygen possibly sorely lack, Cuddy left his mouth and found herself panting against the side of his neck –the only bit of skin his disheveled jacket and shirt didn't cover, as his final thrusts made her lose her ability to position herself as a woman in society, in life, anywhere except in her lover's arms. House felt her walls close in on him and he could tell it would never just be a euphemism. His own orgasm, as blissful as it might, was powerful because the pain in his leg was no more. Cuddy was still clinging at him, caressing his neck and hair. The mind is a powerful thing because he was doing the same thing –or is it while there is nothing but her and him, he thought. No hide and seek; no pain. Nothing but heavy breathing.

"Dr. Cuddy are you… "The man who had stormed into the dark office saw a half dressed man's back pressed up against a naked woman none other than Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Dr. Matthew Steinzik had definitely not expected such a sight: parted legs and all that jazz, "Oh my God", he couldn't help it, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… okay, I'm going, never mind. I wasn't here." Within seconds he had left, shutting the door as fast as he had opened it.

He heard a small chuckle. One he didn't really comprehend. She was smiling, he could tell.

House sighed and, as he tried to move her arms away from him, spurred Cuddy to disentangle herself from him.

"Don't go." She uttered, her face still buried in the crook of his neck.

"I can't stay." He said, successfully removing her arms from him.

"Don't." She tried as she watched him put his pants back on.

"I can't." He said.

"Why?" She asked, more bewildered than on the verge of tears.

"Because I don't know who the hell I am or whoever it is I'm supposed to be anymore."He practically shouted before he limped towards the door. Before he opened it, he thought about why he hadn't locked it again. She saw his hesitation upon leaving and thought it to be a good sign. But he took a pill out of his pocket, swallowed it dry, opened the door anyway and left.

Her sin, his scar; truly a match made in heaven. Dysfunctional to the end.

He was the one who wanted this to happen. How come a ridiculous interruption could send him off to God knows where so abruptly? Gone away from her; leaving her needy, complete and incomplete at the same time and not in charge of anything.

And yet again… screw you, she thought.

Outside her office, House muttered under his breath what he considered a well-deserved 'bastard'. He should have come up with a plan.


End file.
